you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
