They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
