I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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