I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
