after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Randomize
