Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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