he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
