i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
i think im in europe. pls send help
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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