ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
and you said cock pushups were impossible
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
How naked do you want me to be?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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