I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
She's the barista slut.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
