Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
