What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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