he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
