there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
not ubering you a puppy
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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