The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Just cropdusted the office
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
