Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize