thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
