If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Randomize
