she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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