Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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