I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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