Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
