If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
