so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize