Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
