So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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