I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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