I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
