you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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