i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Do vagina's smell?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
