I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
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