and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
