She said her name was "party"
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize