i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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