at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
