I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
