when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Just cropdusted the office
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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