I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
