He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
