so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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