So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
