Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
