I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
