Will you blow on my dice?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
