OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
