Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry mwoods2293 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(407): View more from Florida

tod's in jail

(863): View more from Florida

he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.

Fav 11 2880 1113
share tweet
(360): View more from Washington

Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.

Fav 10 838 1959
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(978): View more from Massachusetts

I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea

Fav 28 3893 1519
share tweet
(631): View more from New York

My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud

Fav 44 1950 19312
share tweet
(207): View more from Maine

He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.

Fav 7 1405 1420
share tweet
(651): View more from Minnesota

Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.

Fav 2 598 1051
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(717): View more from Pennsylvania

You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.

Fav 2 764 505
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(267): View more from Pennsylvania

Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me

Fav 0 164 110
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(323): View more from California

Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.

Fav 0 31 8
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT