She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
be right there i have to get my cape
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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