i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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