no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
