Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
