Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
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