he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
