Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
