I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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