i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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