So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
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