He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
