If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
