why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
