I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
