If that was your dad, he is hot
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
