Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
