the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
