Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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