Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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