No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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