The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
sex in a hospital.. check
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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