I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
She just used a chaser for red wine.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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