if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
