Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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