You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
