he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
